How to find a therapist (in 5 easy steps)
1. Call your insurance company (or check their online list of providers)
Call the phone number on the back of your insurance card to ask about your mental health benefits. Ask what your deductible and co-pay will be (both in and out of network). Then, ask if they can send you a list of providers that are "in-network". Make sure to also ask if you need a referral or pre-authorization prior to beginning services.
Keep in mind that any insurance reimbursement, in or out of network, will require that your therapist give you a mental health diagnosis. If this makes you uncomfortable, you can pay out of pocket, or discuss with your PCP or therapist what the impact of a mental health diagnosis might be in your medical records.
2. Go to a therapist search engine
There are a number of search engines you can use to find therapists (my list is below). While on these websites, you can filter therapists by zip code, presenting issue, gender, specialty, insurance networks, and other factors. You can go to their websites or call/email them directly from the filtered list. You can then cross reference this list with the list you received from your insurance company.
Deconstructing the Mental Health System, Inc (the Anti-Racist Therapist Non-profit)’s BIPOC Provider Directory
If you do not have or do not plan to go through insurance, yet cannot afford the $160+ standard rate for counseling in Seattle, you might try a website for sliding scale providers, like Open Path Collective. This site has a list of quality clinicians who are committed to providing services at a substantially reduced rate.
Alternatively, if you KNOW that you want to work with an EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapist or an IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapist, you will have the best luck going straight to their respective (and linked) “Find a Therapist” page.
3. Email 4-6 therapists
I often tell people that finding a therapist is kind of like dating. You can only tell so much by looking at a photo and reading their profile. Then, there's the fact that many therapists may have a profile online but are not currently accepting new clients. By sending an email, you will save yourself the task of leaving voicemail messages and playing phone tag back and forth with multiple therapists. Also, you can weed out by speed of return contact. And, if you don't want to go through insurance (or you can afford not to), you can say that in your email.
I recommend sending a stock email to at least 5 potential therapists with the following information: general issue to address, name age if it’s outside of 18-55, available days/times to meet, your insurance company (if going through insurance), and how often you hope to come in - weekly, twice a month, etc. You can certainly also name a modality if you know of one. If you know you want couples therapy or family therapy, for example, you will want to confirm that they offer that. Lastly, mention whether you are looking for Telehealth, phone, or in-person, to make sure that’s a fit.
Do not provide too much personal detail in this email. It is not a private mode of communication and that therapist may not even respond, which might make you feel uncomfortable. If you need sliding scale services, as about it in this initial email. You don’t want to find out later that you will not be able to afford to work with this person.
Here’s a template for an initial email:
Hi,
I am currently looking to start counseling for ______ (for example: myself OR my 14 year old) due to _______ (for example: panic and anxiety OR school refusal) through my insurance: ______ (for example: Kaiser PPO). I/they have availability on _______ (for example: Thursdays before 12pm OR Wednesdays after 2pm) to be seen ______ (for example: in person OR online). Also, I/we were hoping to find a therapist who offers ______ (for example: family therapy, Emotion Focused Couples Therapy OR exposure therapy).
Please tell me if you might be a fit. Thank you.
4. Schedule a free phone (or video) consultation
Most therapists offer a free phone consultation, if not a free in-person consultation. I absolutely recommend taking advantage of this. At that point, you can ask more specific questions about your situation and the therapist's experience and how it might be relevant to you. There are a number of resources online to help you with the questions you might ask a new therapist, like this one: https://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/therese-borchard-sanity-break/questions-everyone-should-ask-their-therapist/
5. Have a face-to-face visit with more than one therapist
Back to the dating analogy... Most people who try online dating would have at least one date with more than one person, right? Yet, when it comes to therapy, we only meet with one person and continue for weeks or months, sometimes, before we wonder whether they are the right fit.
I suggest having one in-person session with more than one person to see what feels best to you. Different therapists can feel very different, so don't be afraid to shop around to find the best fit.
Once you pick a therapist, keep assessing how it’s going and talk with your therapist if things aren’t going the way you would like. The best therapy involves feedback and adjustments, as needed.
If you are a podcast person, check out episode 3 of the Beyond Trauma podcast, Finding Your Therapist. The first 10 or so minutes outline all of the steps above, plus talk about whether there is a particular specialty you are looking for. Starting around minute 12, they have a great conversation about how to know if a therapist feels right for you during and after your initial sessions.
